The GirlAlive Blog

However…

One of my very infrequent current event posts.

Jay Leno is a friend of my family. Like, my dad has Jay’s cell phone number (and no you can’t have it). My parents spent their last anniversary with him. He’s an awesome guy and he couldn’t be nicer. However, I am very strongly pro-Conan. Five years ago Jay said that he was going to step down from The Tonight Show in order to avoid a big dramafest like there was when he got the job over Letterman so many years ago. Now NBC is crapping all over that. Conan has put in his time and he was rightfully given the helm of The Tonight Show. Trying to move The Tonight Show to 12:05 is just crap. Wherever Conan ends up, I hope I can still watch him. You know, legally on tv. Not in a creepy way like through binoculars.

I am a Christian and I really want to follow Jesus’ example and love everyone. However, every time Pat Robertson opens his mouth I fantasize about the painful ways I’d like him to die. If he ever was a Christian, I see no remaining evidence of it. It offends me to the core when he tries to claim to be a representative of God. I don’t know what god he represents, but it isn’t the one in the Bible.

Awesome cannon thingy

This is just completely awesome, and I want one.

I wouldn’t mind a piece of the cake either.

I hate this ad.

Okay, so this ad gets on my nerves every time I see it.

Question 1: Why did Fox’s biscuits decide that the perfect animal to represent their brand would be a panda? Couldn’t Fox’s think of any other animal that might work?

Question 2: Why is the panda a New York mobster? What does the New York mafia have to do with pandas? Ever? Pandas are vegetarian bears from China. It makes no freaking sense.

Question 3: Why can’t he pronounce the word “biscuit”? “Biscuit” is a word in America. It is pronounced the same way that it is in Britain (even though it doesn’t mean the same thing). I have never EVER in all my years living in the US heard anyone pronounce it “bisqwits”.

Basically, this commercial is annoying, nonsensical and bordering on offensive.

Food and a note to Joss Whedon

First of all, food. Today is my real anniversary, so husband and I went to Yum Yum HK Diner, which is a tiny hole in the wall Chinese takeaway place, with about 6 tables. But they also have the all important bubble tea. I haven’t had bubble tea since I left Seattle, and when I found that Yum Yum HK serves bubble tea, that answered the question of where to go for our anniversary. However, it was much better than just a source of bubble tea. The food was fantastic. Husband had shredded beef with szechuan sauce that was really good. I had monkfish and vegetables which was also good. The place was so authentic Chinese that I felt like I was back in the International District of Seattle. The menus on the walls were all in Chinese. The only other customers in the place were Chinese students. And the tv on the wall was showing Chinese soap operas. It was great. I’d highly recommend it.

Now, a completely unrelated note to Joss Whedon:

Joss, please stop giving your good ideas to that waste of airspace called FOX. They don’t get you. They never will. I know you have a contract to do a few series for them, but please stop selling them good ideas. For any other shows that you owe them by contract, just make up some crap about teenagers played by 35-year-olds. Something with lots of teenaged angst and possibly some dysfunctional parents. Maybe something about a gay teenager in Arkansas, played by someone who is pushing 30. FOX will love it. You’ll make money. Then you can spend that money developing your good ideas somewhere else. FOX is worthless. We all hate them. So please, don’t keep throwing your pearls to those swine.

Sincerely, Alana and all the other nerds.

Fringeiness

Last night was my one night of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.  My husband and I planned to go to a bunch of shows all in one night in order to get completely burned out on the festival and therefore have no insane ideas of visiting the city center during the rest of the festival.  I believe that it worked.

I’ll start with my trip into the city.  I had taken the day off work so I could sleep in and get some other stuff done at the same time.  I was planning  to head into the city at 1:30.  I had an eye doctor appointment related to my upcoming laser eye surgery scheduled for 3:00, and it normally takes less than an hour to get to the city center, but it is the festival and my husband informed me that there was a major fire at a kilt shop on Princes Street, so the buses were running late and re-routed.

I went to the bus stop to catch a #47.  A #37 came by, and it was supposed to be there 10 minutes earlier, but I decided to grab that bus thinking, "If it’s running late who knows when the 47 will be here."  I talked to the driver and it turns out he wasn’t 10 minutes late.  He was 40 minutes late.

Anyway, I got to George Street to my eye doctor appointment with time to spare.  They had a bunch of problems scanning my eyes because I apparently have huge pupils.  After the eye doctor, I went to Starbucks to meet up with my husband.  I had a really big iced mocha.  It was the first time I’ve been to Starbucks since moving here.  I hate to admit it, but it totally felt like home.

After coffee, we went to Pizza Hut and had a medium Pepperoni and green chili pizza.  The bathrooms were all weird.  I can’t even describe it.  There was a labyrinth of stairs with no right angles and it was very disorienting.

After that, we got a bus over the the Pleasance theater complex.  It’s apparently related to the University, and it’s a cool area.  There’s a big courtyard with a temporary bar and information booths.  We found our first venue: the Pleasance Cellar.  We were scheduled to see Owen Powell’s The Two Closest Starbucks in Britain.  The cellar was literally a cellar.  Water was dripping from the ceiling and the seating was a bunch of Ikea stools.  I think there was maybe room for 30 people in there.  It was incredibly uncomfortable, but the good news is that Owen Powell was very funny.  He had spent a year travelling Britain and measuring distances between Starbucks.  He didn’t hate Starbucks.  Didn’t love them.  In fact, he admitted that he doesn’t even like coffee.  But he needed to know how close together 2 starbucks could be.  It was genuinely funny, and he deserved a better venue. 

After that, we had a short break and then went to the Pleasance One theater to see Lucy Porter’s Love-In.  My first impression after sitting on an Ikea stool for an hour was, "It’s so comfortable!"  The seating was big cushioned benches, and we got a row with extra leg room for my 6′5" husband.  There was even air conditioning.  But that was only secondary to the fact that Lucy Porter was hilarious.  She was talking completely on the theme of love.  And how she considers love to be a mental illness, but doesn’t mind so much because crazy isn’t so bad.  She talked about bad dates and embarrassing moments and crazy habits, and she gave out prizes and had audience participation and it was completely 7 pounds well spent.  I would see her again in a heartbeat.

Our final show of the night was back on George Street, and by that time Princes Street was re-opened and the buses were a little more normal.  Our final show of the night was Rich Hall.   The theater was a more traditional theater with the individual seats with armrests.  For my husband and I, it was not really very comfortable.  But Rich Hall was undeniably funny.  It was his first night at the Festival, and you could tell he hadn’t worked out all the kinks.  It didn’t help that the audience was full of drunken obnoxious British people.  Despite that, he did make me laugh out loud plenty.

My husband liked Rich Hall best.  I liked Lucy Porter best.  We both liked Owen Powell, in spite of the venue.  Overall, we had a good night and by the time we caught a midnight bus home, we were completely exhausted.  

When I got home I went to bed, and laid there awake for 2 hours.  I was exhausted, but my feet hurt so much they kept me awake.  It was very annoying.  But I’ve got a whole weekend to recover.

Alana 

Can’t Stop the Serenity

I’m so excited!  Next week I’m going to see my favoritest movie ever on the big screen again!  As a charity event, Joss Whedon is having Serenity shown on screens all over the world on or near June 23rd, in honor of Joss Whedon’s birthday.  Serenity is a great movie and I was sad that I only got to see it once in the theater when it was originally released. 

You should all go to http://www.cantstoptheserenity.com/ and see if there is a showing near you.  There are still a lot of tickets available in a lot of cities.  And if you go to the Edinburgh one, maybe I’ll see you there. 

Alana