The GirlAlive Blog

eyeball update

There have been many recent inquiries about the state of my eyes and whether I have "super vision" yet.  The answer is no. 

It’s been over 4 weeks since surgery and I still have to have the font in Firefox set to 22 point in order to read without squinting too much.  I have a magnifying glass on my desk at work so I can read small print without having to press my face against the desk.

What went wrong?  Why am I still blind?  Well, according to my doctors, nothing went wrong, it’s just that LASEK surgery takes forever to heal.  It’s getting better very very slowly, but things are still blurry.

The most disorienting times are when one eye suddenly decides to be fairly clear for a few hours, while the other one stays fuzzy.  That kind of gives me a headache. 

For the time being, it’s more waiting.  And squinting.

Good news is that my new niece and nephew are doing well and getting cuter and cuter.

Alana 

This Post Contains Adult Content

Okay, so first of all, my eyes are maybe starting to get better.  My optometrist gave me some new eye drops and I might be able to see by the end of the week.

As a warning, the story in the rest of this post contains adult themes and mild descriptions involving my sex life.  If you are a child or my mom or whatever, you might want to go find something else to read.

So my husband and I were chilling out and talking in bed.  We were talking first about ManBearPig on South Park.  Cause I think that episode is cool.  He said, "Didn’t ManBearPig have some celebrity for a leg?" and I told him that that was another South Park monster (later I looked it up and it is Scuzzlebutt), but I couldn’t remember what celebrity it was.

So we talked a bit more about stuff and things, as we tend to do.  Then we started "fooling around" a little, and I grabbed a handful of certain boy parts and said, "I found something squishy," to which my husband replied, "Patrick Duffy!" 

My first thought was, "When did you name your genitals Patrick Duffy?"  Then I just started laughing uncontrollably.  He explained that that’s who the leg was on South Park, but by then it was too late.  "So," I asked, "When I grab your nuts, you think of Patrick Duffy?"  

So I guess now whether he likes it or not, my husbands genitals are named Patrick Duffy. 

Yes, I am well aware that we are not normal.

Alana

 P.S. I opened comments to be printed right away.  So if your comment doesn’t appear within the first few minutes, it might have been filed as junk.  I seem to be getting about 1500 spam comments a week.

Daren Streblow

Okay, so I was on YouTube, checking out some of the stand-up comics there, and I started thinking about comedians in general, and I remembered an old acquaintence named Daren Streblow who is a comedian, so I decided to look him up.  He has a web site at http://www.darenstreblow.com/.

While reading through the blog on the site, I came across the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.  It said:

"A spoon full of sugar will help the medicine go down” only if it’s not a pill. Sugar used in this context will only produce an explosive cough, a hazy sugar-cloud, and a pill lodged in the sheet rock.

I don’t know exactly why, but this made me laugh out loud quite literally.  I totally remember why he is one of my favorite comedians.

Alana

p.s. Niece and nephew are doing well and probably going home very soon.  Hooray! 

Names!

My new neice and nephew finally have names.  My brother and his wife named them Marissa Charis Olson and Zachary Alden Olson.  I think they’re pretty cool names.  They plan to call the girl Rissa, for short.  So they both have cute nicknames for when they’re kids.  They can be Zach and Rissa.  But when they’re grownups, Zachary and Marissa are perfectly good adult names.  I also like the middle name Alden because it was my grandfather’s name. 

So I guess they didn’t go with any of my suggestions.  Not even Ren and Stimpy or Chicken and Waffles. 

I still can’t see very well, and I have to work tomorrow.  This should be interesting, since my entire job is based around reading.  But they’ve been giving me grief about being off sick too often, so I’ll just show up and do a crappy job instead.

Alana