My crazy subconscious…

April 6, 2007 on 9:45 am | In Life In General | No Comments

I’ve been off and on antidepressants for about 7 years, and mostly on.  I don’t have too many horrible side effects, other than strange dreams.  I’m not talking about night terrors or anything bad really.  Just weird.

The weirdest ones usually feature celebrity roles.  Never the celebrities I’d want, like a naked Ewan McGregor.  It’s always bizarre celebrities. 

In the past, my weirdest dream was the one in which I was on a Seattle bus with Robert Carlisle and Ed McMahon and they were critiquing and portfolio of my artwork.  If I remember right, they both thought I was very talented.

Last night I had a dream that totally tops that.  I was a camera operator for The Daily Show (but the set was different) and Jon Stewart was feeding cherry tomatoes and Hershey Kisses to a pair of orangutans while Carol Channing sang "I’m Henry the Eighth I Am".  Think about that scenario for a moment.  Then think about what kind of twisted subconscious could even manage to assemble that scenario.  I’m a little scared of my own brain now.

(In other news, my brother’s wife is still pregnant with twins and I’m still all manner of excited about it.)

Alana

www.girlalive.com 

Keepin’ Secrets is Hard.

April 4, 2007 on 7:51 pm | In Life In General | No Comments

I talked to my brother and his wife on Saturday about their trip to Belize.  At least, that was the ruse they used to get the whole family on the phone.  They really were calling to tell us that my brother’s wife is pregnant.  (Although they really did go to Belize too, and had a lovely time.)  But they told us not to tell anyone until they said so.  It was less than a week, but it was killing me.

On Sunday I went to visit my in-laws, and saw my little nephew and my husband’s pregnant sister.  And I was desperate to tell my mother-in-law the happy news.  But I promised I wouldn’t tell.  Then all week at work, there has been a big hoo-haw because one of my co-workers is having her last day tomorrow, and is going to be off for a year on maternity leave.  So she’s extremely pregnant and there are baby things all over the office for her, and still I couldn’t say anything.

Finally, today my brother said that they had an ultrasound and found that my sister-in-law is further along than they originally thought, so we are free to tell people.  Finally.  I thought I was gonna ’splode!  

Not only am I allowed to tell people, but apparently they also found out that she is having twins!  Hooray!  I love twins!  Twins are awesome. 

I wish I could be in the US with them in the fall when the babies are due, but it isn’t working out that way this year.  I’m planning to have some eye surgery, which is taking up all my money and vacation time.  I keep thinking, "It’s elective surgery.  Put it off and go see your brother."  But then the other side of me counters with, "If you don’t get this surgery now, you will soon be having children of your own and will never again have the time or money to do it.  Plus, it’s not like the new babies will in any way register my visit in their mushy little noggins.  Better to wait until they are actual functioning humans."  Which is why I’m doing the surgery, even though it seems like a selfish and horrible thing to do at the moment.  Sometimes those are the things you have to do.

Alana

www.girlalive.com 

Kidney Karma

April 2, 2007 on 4:50 pm | In Guinea Pigs and Hamster | No Comments

Yesterday my husband and I went to my husband’s sister’s house to say adios to his younger sister who is moving to England.  It was also a good chance to see our new little 5-month-old nephew Ruary, or Roo for short.  My husband’s sister had Roo’s diaper off to change him and air out his junk, cause he was getting a little diaper rash.  So little Roo is sitting on his mom’s lap pantsless, and as you could predict, he peed on her.  All down the leg of her jeans. 

Like any brother, my husband was quite amused at the sight of his little sister getting peed on.  He proceeded to mock her and tease her and say how it totally made his day.  Like any normal big brother.

We went home and in the evening I was holding Fudge and Neil was playing with Elvis.  He has been avoiding Fudge because he is quite the incontinent little rodent, and peed on him earlier in the week.  After only about 10 minutes or less, Elvis let loose and peed with more volume and force than I knew a guines pig could muster.  He managed to spray my husband’s shirt and trousers and even the arm of the sofa.  Some of it was a good 6 inches from Elvis’ little furry butt.  Elvis was a little squeaky fire hose.  

So I think we all know why Elvis peed on my husband.  It was just a little urinary karma because he was so pleased about his sister being peed on.  

Of course, in writing this, I’m setting myself up to get peed on by one of the piggies very soon.  But it was still just too good to pass up.

Alana

www.girlalive.com 

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